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Showing posts from March, 2017

To All Creatives With Mental Illness

When it comes to depression and anxiety, there can be a tendency to “feel more deeply,” which can be great for connecting with others. At the same time, there are also sublime experiences or intense experiences of both terror and awe. These are sometimes too much to process, and it’s completely understandable to avoid them. I try to find the beautiful in the grotesque, and the poetry and novel sections I've written with the deepest passion have stemmed from pseudo-autobiographical manners of expressing what it’s like to live a divergent life in a way both those like and unlike me can comprehend. I don't want to say one must suffer to be a good artist, but I do think, at least for me, knowing what certain painful feelings are like helps me be less judgmental, even when I have trouble understanding someone's motives.

For somebody who struggles with depersonalization, this whole talk about art and identity is a scary thing because where does the self end and art begin? How mu…

Being Neurodivergent & A Vessel For Art

It’s a strange thing to consider yourself a vessel for stories; it might not be so strange when, in school, you’ve been called a hard worker, a bit of a loner, but one who always meets deadlines and goes above expectations. (Is this a humble brag?) Anyhow, this tends to conjure up severe anxiety over not meeting the consistently high expectations. There’s the whole trope about the slacker who’s a genius but keeps expectations low because when they do apply themselves, they’re met with awe and praise, whereas the “smart kid,” adhering to the expectations of what smartness means in each society—get all A’s? Get accepted into college? Well, what else would you do? Fail, whatever failing is? And what do you do when you do “fail”?

But back to writing, this whole spiel ties back into a mindset whereone is not valued for their personality, but rather what they produce. Call this American materialism and capitalism at work, sure, that’s a related conversation for another day. Regardless, there …